How to Meet Polyamorous People

If you are a polyamorous person it can be difficult to find a partner who wants the same thing as you from the beginning.  It makes the whole process of dating much less messy and stressful if you are on the same page before you form a connection you might have to break.

Luckily there are many online communities and platforms that make meeting non-monogamous people near you fairly easy.


The website is my all time favorite way to meet others with my tastes.  If you are in a big city like toronto there is guaranteed to be alot of meetups happening every month.

polyamory questions
Typical interview questions to join a polyamory meetup group

Unlike most other meetups, you need to answer some questions and be approved before getting to know the location and time of the meeting.  The reason they do this is pretty obvious, they don’t want a bunch of creepy guys showing up just to meet potentially kinkier women.

The questions ask you to clarify why are you are interested, what polyamory means to you, and if you have read the ‘safer space and behavior guidelines’.  The guidelines basically say don’t be creepy and be a normal person.

So it is very important you know what polyamory is and you are not 100% purely chasing sex and disregarding people’s humanity.

Here are two great meetups to get started with in Toronto:

If you are a traveler meetup is another great way to meet people in the area and potentially go on a date.  During my last trip to Portland Oregon I used the site to find a polyamory meetup and had a great time.  Especially in a city like Portland, which is known for being a bit more open minded, you can create great memories and lasting relationships on your trip.

OkCupid and Other Dating Sites

tinder polyamory sex
Example of a time to swipe left

This is another great way to filter out any monogamous people right from the start.  In fact, OkCupid even has a setting that lets you appear invisible to anyone with a monogamous setting or any other setting.  I very firmly state in my profile that I am polyamorous and that I have certain ground rules that need to be followed if anything were to get serious.

Despite laying down these ground rules I have still gotten a few clingy people that pretended to know what polyamory really is just to get a date with me.  However this happened much more in my late teens and early twenties.  I think as i’ve gotten older its been easier to find more relaxed people in general.

In addition to okcupid you can also give Tinder a try.  This dosen’t have the great filtering options, but you can just put down in the description that you generally date more than one person etc.


Okay this might sound a little sketchy, but I have heard of people at my meetup having a little bit of success with it.  The general idea is just to put up a wanted post saying you are looking to meet polyamorous people.  Include a view pictures as well as whatever else you want the people to know.

Now here is the important part.

You must tell them to include at least five pictures of themselves in any email.  This will hopefully filter out any weird people looking for sex with no clue what polyamory is.  From here you can exchange numbers, skype, and maybe eventually meet somewhere and do your thing.


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